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Scene: Trek Smut University, the office of the Dean of Vulcanology
Time: Friday afternoon, around 3 p.m.
Greywolf is lounging in his chair, impatiently waving an unlit joint under his snout. Smells good--but he's thinking it'd smell a lot better if it was lit.
GW: Damn--you'd think a control freak would be on time.
Jungle Kitty practically dances in and sits on the desk.
JK: Light up, my furry friend! We're celebrating!
Greywolf fires it up, takes a long, satisfying drag and passes it to the head of the Department of Kirkology. Aaah--that's better...
GW: And the reason for this celebration? Other than it's Friday? Mind you, that right there's a purty good reason...
Smoke is coming out of his nostrils as he talks; it makes him look like a scruffy grey-furred miniature dragon--well, a dragon wearing a Harley bandanna, that is.
JK: Remember when I applied for that research grant? (Big toke) And they said they'd approve it if I could get permission from Starfleet to use their equipment? Well...
JK: A quick hop forward through the Guardian and then it's beam me up, Scotty! Jungle Kitty to the bridge!
GW: Whoo-ee! God damn, some folks have all the friggin' luck!
But he's grinning as he says it.
The Wolf pounces around the room, clapping his paws together. Kitty howls and claws the drapes. During the rest of the scene, the joint is passed back and forth. *Deep* tokes.
JK: I leave on Monday, right after my lecture on handling a Kirk alert.
GW: Wait a minute--the TrekSmut into the 21st Century symposium is on Wednesday!
JK: Yeah, well, I was hoping you could fill in for me. My speech is done. All you'll have to do is read it.
JK: Oh, come on. Didn't I cover for you when they had the pon farr festival in Dubuque?
GW (having the grace to at least blush green): Yeah.
JK: And didn't I warn you when you were about to step on your dick?
GW (trying not do laugh): Yeah. Yeah, I guess you did, at that.
JK (scratches the Wolf behind the ears): And didn't I let you pat Kirk's crotch?
GW: Yeah -- but dammit, you made me stop right after that!
JK: Had to -- Rules for Treatment of Guest Stars, remember? Did you want Auntie Ruth on your ass again? (Here the Wolf shakes his head and shudders, very convincingly) And frankly, you owe it to me. You sent me my first feedback. I might not even be here if not for you.
GW: Huh. I dunno, man -- sounds more like you owe me.
JK (very pleased with herself): If there's one thing I've learned from studying James T. Kirk, it's how to make it all about me.
GW (grinning now): I'll have to wear my flame-proof underwear.
JK: Don't tell me that a big, fierce wolf is afraid to address the burning question: (waves the joint importantly) "Is Captain Brandt a Mary Sue?"
GW (sighing): Let's see your speech.
Jungle Kitty hands him a three-by-five card, on which she has written one word: No.
GW: Works for me. What were you planning to do with the rest of the hour?
JK: I thought I'd throw it open to questions.
GW (rolling his eyes): I may be skinned alive.
JK: That's the other thing I've learned from JTK. How to make others pay for your mistakes. You should come to one of my classes.
GW: You're a sick woman, you know that? (swallows the tiny roach that is all that remains of the joint and sighs happily) ... ah ... Where are the brownies?
JK: Dammit, Greywolf, I'm a smuttress, not a Keebler elf. Ooo, now there's an idea. A TOS-Keebler crossover.
GW: Been done a thousand times. Now -- what's happening on that story where Kirk's allergic to Spock's semen?
JK: I've been thinking about that. Had an interesting discussion with Kaki. She thinks that a runny nose and watery eyes would be a real turn-on to someone from a desert planet.
GW: (nods solemnly) Indeed. (A certain twinkle appears in the yellow eyes.) Hmmm... You may be onto something there, kid. Hm... Hey, tell Kaki I wanna see the new story, ok?
JK: So do we have a deal? I promise to bring back lots of sandalwood and Arcadian aphrodisiacs. And a Vulcan dildo, just for you.
GW: (waves a paw elegantly) Boldly go, m'dear. (He starts patting his pockets, in search of another joint.)
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