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OK, you've probably all seen this email game that's going around.
You're supposed to fill it out and send it to a bunch of people, EXCEPT I realized that this is a lot more fun if you do it for a Trek character.
Getting to Know Suzanne Brandt
Getting to Know Marla McGivers
Reader other GTKY's by the gang at ASCEM.
SEX: As often as possible. What? Oh. Male. Alpha male, if you believe everything you hear.
HEIGHT: 5'11' and don't believe those lies b/c I don't even know that Shatner guy.
EYES: Warm luminescent hazel with flecks of gold
HAIR: Golden when under Kirklight
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? I don't understand the reference.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Another strange reference. Spock, anything on the scanners?
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Let's see...I did enjoy that girly mag that Scotty was using to hide his technical manuals...
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Losing. At anything.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: The tingle you get right after being spanked with the official Starfleet paddle.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Catch up on all the important things I don't have time to do during the week, which I would really love to do, except the Brat keeps coming up with important things SHE wants me to catch up on. Whaddaya mean, pussy-whipped?
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: Anything that doesn't include "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Another day, another galactic crisis.
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Of course not! Although Kaki seems to think I get morning sickness.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Exciting
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? : Phone?
Uhura: Captain, it's an ancient earth method of hailing.
Kirk: Isn't answering it your job?
FAVOURITE FOODS: Iowa sweet corn and anything that didn't come out of a synthesizer
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes. It probably helps that they're dead.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Well, er, um, yes. I actually did a little hard time on Rura Penthe, if you must know. But that was all a mistake and I was pardoned later.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Ever since I battled a salad monster, I'm off those completely.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes I do, but the only person who's ever ridden with me has given me a bad name.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Stuffed? No.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Chekov.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? I'm already the best kind of animal there is.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Abraham Lincoln.
Brandt: Oh, c'mon, Jim, that's so corny!
Kirk: OK, ummmmmmm...Lady Godiva.
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Whiskey
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Aries
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Hell, I don't even eat the florets.
GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HER? Do I have to wait for her to ask?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Starship captain
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Whatever color will make it golden no matter what light I'm under.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? I have mine changed regularly. Right now, it's a mistletoe right above the timberline. Valentine's Day is coming up, I should get that changed.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? About once a week.
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. One where I don't get killed by a sex-crazed groom.
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? A pointy mirror.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? I'm James T. Kirk and I don't believe in the empty glass. It's full, dammit, FULL!
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? Snapple? I'm not familiar with that, but it sounds like it might have something to do with spanking. I'd be interested in knowing more.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Righty. Until that arm gets tired.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Typing? Whatever it means, I believe my fingers are always exactly where they should be.
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A plow.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Laurel knows, but she's sworn to secrecy.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 1701
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Never owned one.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? A hot rod.
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Gladiators.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. Gayle Potts--what a great lady! Wrote me into a threesome, thank you very much.
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT. I expect reports from all sections.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? The Avengers.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A picture of Ruth with her teeth blacked out.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: European Male Catalog.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Having to ask for help.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Multiple orgasms.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Jim.
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: Music to Kick Butt By
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Is that Jim or the dog?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? No, but Ruth does.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Yawn.
PEN OR PENCIL? It's equally easy to incapacitate your opponent with either.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Does the person calling outrank me?
FAVOURITE FOODS: Bananas. Zucchini. Salami. Cucumbers. Tube steak. Hot dogs. Tri-Nyquil 2200.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Who put you up to this?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? I'm sorry, that's classified.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? It's equally easy to incapacitate your opponent with either.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? It's equally easy to incapacitate your opponent with either.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? You should see me parallel park the flitter. And if Jim tries to tell you he doesn't get motion sickness, he's lying.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Does a rabbit vibrator stuffed with pearls count?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Another dog.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A trouser snake, but just long enough to find out how the other half lives.
THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? Cool.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? General Patton.
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Manhattan. Nice long stem on the cherry, please.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? I was born on Umptember 17, Kyrosian calendar. You do the math.
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Try and make me.
GIRLS - WOULD YOU ASK A GUY FOR THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK? If I wanted it, I'd just take it.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I already have the best job ever. Kirk: Tell them what it is. Brandt: I work in records. Kirk: *snicker*
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Whatever color will best contribute to the success of the mission.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? A dagger and the words "OFC. Wanna make something of it?" Left bicep.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Rock-paper-scissors--Shit. All right. Yes.
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: I don't have a dream wedding. Would you like to hear about my dream combat?
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Marks and gouges that I'm not going to explain to you.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? Corbomite.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous and I can also do the Vulcan salute with my toes.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Can you read this? Shouldn't that tell you something?
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Leaf blower.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Probably Jim's socks. And if he thinks I'm going to pick them up...
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 69.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A blue flitter with license plate KB-69.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? Classic red mustang convertible.
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Baseball.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Nyota runs a great bull session.
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: Spock. Vulcan has the most effective spambots in the galaxy.
NAME: Mrs. Khan Noonien Singh (nee Marla McGivers)
SEX: I am a worthy woman. Khan said so.
HOME: Ceti Alpha V. But I was born in Stepford.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? Khan has told me about this. I think I would have liked "Fantasy Island" or the pilot of "Alexander the Great."
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Khan has told me about this. I think I would have liked one with his picture on it.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Khan has told me about these. I think I would have liked Cosmopolitan.
FAVOURITE SMELL: The sweat of a genetically enhanced conqueror.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Going on landing parties when I would rather be painting.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being dominated by Khan.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Be dominated by Khan.
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: 9 and 1/2 Weeks.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Did Khan tell me I could get out of bed?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Only when Khan leaves me in the suspended harness too long.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Khan has told me about these. I believe I would find them both deadly and exciting.
PEN OR PENCIL? When I take dictation from Khan, I always use a pen. He hates pencils and I would hate to face his wrath.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Khan has told me about these. I would always answer on the first ring. I would make the best damn secretary you ever saw.
FAVOURITE FOODS: Khan's favorite food is--oh, *my* favorite food? Gee, it's been a long time since anyone has asked my preference on anything. Can I get back to you?
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes, I do, but Khan doesn't, so we never see them.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? I was allowed to go with Khan rather than face prosecution.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Khan has told me about these. I believe croutons would be less fattening.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? We have no transportation on Ceti Alpha V.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? The only animals left on Ceti Alpha V are Ceti eels and I wouldn't like to sleep with one of them under any circumstances. Unless Khan told me to.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Anything but a Ceti eel.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A Ceti eel, because if I was any other type of animal, I would be on a different planet from Khan.
THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? <whispers> Scary, but Khan doesn't like me to show fear.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Krull the Conqueror.
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: White wine spritzer.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Khan doesn't believe in astrology.
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes.
GIRLS - WOULD YOU ASK A GUY FOR THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK? No. After serving on the Enterprise, I've seen enough of shirtless authority figures to last me a lifetime. ... What? Not all men are authority figures? You must be joking.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Khan's doormat.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Whatever color Khan asks me to.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? Authority slut. Left butt cheek.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Oh yes!
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: I'm all in white and Khan is all in gold. I vow to love, honor, obey, and grovel. He vows not to starve me unless I really deserve it.
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? All the wonderful paintings I've done of dead authority figures that I'd like to sleep with.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Is this a trick question?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? Genetically enhanced.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Khan has allowed me to make my own choice, but I haven't made up my mind yet.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Khan has told me about typewriters. I don't think I would like them. I might break a nail.
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A gardening apron clinging to Khan.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Nothing. But before I met Khan, I kept 2 vibrators there. When I was bored, I would make them fight over me. The loser had to watch.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? Zero.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Khan has told me about those. He had a Chrysler Cordova with rich corinthian leather.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? A Chrysler Cordova with rich corinthian leather.
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Battle of the Genetically Enhanced Supermen.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Khan rules. Now and forever.
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: My friends on the Enterprise. They never call, they never write. And not a single one of them sent me a wedding gift.
*** Credit Where Credit Is Due: Thank you, Karmen, for the answers to the cars questions.
HOME: Any place I give birth is home.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? TeleTribbles.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Other tribbles.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Food and Wine.
FAVOURITE SMELL: Food. And Wine.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being near a Klingon.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being a tribble.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Eat. Have babies. Eat some more.
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: Babette's Feast
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Is there anything to eat?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? No, but once I had an upset stomach from eating poisoned quadrotriticale.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Are they edible?
PEN OR PENCIL? Are they edible?
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? If I answer quickly, do I get more food?
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes. Tribbles get along with everyone except Klingons.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Tribbles don't commit crimes. But we are planning to convict Mr. Scott for sending an entire colony to the Klingons.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Lots and lots of both, please.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Lots and lots of both, please.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes, if I'm going somewhere to get more food.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Yes, hundreds of thousands of them.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A human. Especially that nice Nyota Uhura.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? There is no nicer type of animal than a tribble and there is no nicer tribble than me.
THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? Cool if I'm with a human who thinks they're scary because then I get petted and snuggled a lot. Scary if all the food gets wet.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Betty Crocker.
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: All of them.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Pisces.
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes. Lots and lots of them, please.
GIRLS - WOULD YOU ASK A GUY FOR THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK? Is it edible?
GUYS - WOULD YOU GIVE A GIRL THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK? Will she give me food in exchange for it?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? One from which I would bring home plenty of bacon.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I think my hair is already every color there is.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? "Will purr for food." Near my mouth.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes. I was very unhappy when I discovered that my beloved was a toupee.
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: One where they serve lots of those little quiches and I get extra pieces of cake.
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Paper strips of candy buttons.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Please add more to it so that it will be full and then I will drink it.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? Free refills.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? *trrrrrrrr*
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? My entire body is on the right keys.
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A harvester.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Emergency snacks.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? A baker's dozen.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Car? Is that short for caramel? Carbohydrates? Carbonara?
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? Caramel carbohydrates with carbonara sauce.
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Competitive cooking.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: The nice captain let me out of the storage bin.
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: Cyrano Jones. He's busy picking up all the other tribbles on the space station.
SEX: Female. You think I have a problem with that, don't you? Well, you're wrong! Female! FEMALE! Fe--fe--male MALE MALE MALE!
HOME: Insane asylum on Starbase 2
HEIGHT: Short enough for men to look down on me
EYES: Blue, no, hazel, no, blue, no -- <SCREAM>
HAIR: Reddish, no golden, no red, no--<SCREAM>
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? The Mary Tyler Moore Show. <hums "You're Gonna Make It After All">
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? The Bitch Is Back.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Popular Mechanics.
FAVOURITE SMELL: A men's room.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Not being a starship captain.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: The sound of my balls clanking, the swinging of my giant dick... You say I don't have those? HA! You fool!
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Get caught up on who Jim's sleeping with, so I don't screw up next time.
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: All of Me.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Dammit, I'm still not a starship captain!
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? I get a little queazy when the mind-swap starts wearing off.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Nothing is as deadly or exciting as being a starship captain.
PEN OR PENCIL? They don't let me have sharp instruments.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I never tell them about the ringing.
FAVOURITE FOODS: Jim Kirk's liver.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Those fools! With all the technology available that would have let them choose the sex of their unborn child, they decided to let nature take its course!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? I pled insanity.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? This is one of those psych profile tests, isn't it?
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? This *is* one of those psych profile tests.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes, very fast, running all the red lights, cutting off other cars, and flipping off truck drivers.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? You think every women is just a little girl, don't you? Well, the answer is no. I sleep with a machete. And I only wore a scarf so that I could strangle Jim with it.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? You're waiting for me to say "a poodle," aren't you? Just because I'm a woman. Well, I hate poodles! I hate their little yapping fucking guts! If I could have a pet, I'd want an anaconda.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A man-eating shark.
THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? You think just because I'm a woman, I'm afraid of thunderstorms? Do your worst.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Lorena Bobbitt.
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: You'd like to get me drunk, wouldn't you? You think women are just your playthings, don't you?
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Gemini.
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? I'm sure this has something to do with penis envy. Well, forget it, clown! I had a penis once and it was one hell of a lot bigger than the pencil dick you've got!
GIRLS - WOULD YOU ASK A GUY FOR THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK? I did ask him once. He said no one could wear the gold shirt who hadn't earned it. Why the hell did he think I was sucking off half the admiralty?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Starship captain! STARSHIP CAPTAIN! Haven't you been listening?
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Kirklight golden.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? Two and a half gold stripes around my wrists.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes. But the son of a bitch left me because I was just a woman and not a starship captain. He said I hated my own womanhood. Well, now the bastard knows how it feels! He's been in plenty of women's bodies, but when I let him have the whole enchilada, he couldn't take it, could he? He couldn't get out of there fast enough! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD!
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: Oh, here we go again. White dress, bridesmaids, flowers... Well, you're wrong! Starship captains are married to their ships, don't you know that?
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Rubber padding.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? You think they'd let me have a glass of water, wouldn't you? But I might break it and use the sharp edges to hurt someone.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? I'd rather die of thirst than drink anything so girly.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambi. <evil chuckle>
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Oh, now I get it! You're trying to come up with some sort of occupational therapy for me. Well, women can do a lot more than just type, buddy boy!
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A bulldozer.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Remember that orderly who disappeared? There are a few parts I haven't gotten rid of yet.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 1/2.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A pink flitter with the license plate "Daddy's Girl." Is it any wonder I'm fucked up?
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? A tank with the license plate "Don't fuck with me, fellas!"
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Drag racing.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: You'd like me to reveal my accomplices, wouldn't you? Because I have friends on the outside. They're going to get me out of here and then watch out, Starfleet!
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: Carol Marcus. She knows how important it is to keep our friendship secret. I wonder how she's doing on raising Jim's son to hate his guts...
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