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Shirt torn to the right.
Basket shows he dresses left.
Manhood set on stun.
Captain James T. Kirk
Seeks strange new worlds and rocks mine.
Risk is his business.
"Jim darling," says Ruth.
"Who is this moron?" says I.
Fast forward through her.
Bitter dregs indeed.
Communicator revealed.
"Where did THAT come from?"
Kirk fights hand-to-hand.
Shoulder roll useless but fun.
Flying leg kick wins.
Deela of Scalos.
Kirk, on bed, pulling on boot.
You know he did her.
Marlena Moreau.
Sexy in both universes.
James T. did them both.
Amerind maiden.
"I bear your child," she tells him.
Honeymoon's over.
Never a boy scout.
Existence of young David
Proves he did Carol.
Beautiful Rom Com.
Spock had a chance to do her.
You know Kirk would have.
Miss Edith Keeler.
Kirk loves her, car flattens her.
Stupid Guardian.
Gillian Taylor.
Supposedly smart lady
Turns down Kirk. Yeah, right.
Claudius Marcus
Grants one last hour as a man.
Wink wink nudge nudge. Snerk.
Beautiful Helen.
The Christmas party hotty.
She wanted him bad.
Dr. Jan Wallace.
Offers Kirk a pity fuck.
Oh puh-leeze! As if.
Ex-girlfriend Areel.
Minor action on the bridge.
She begged him for it.
Gary "Stud" Mitchell.
Checkin' out the space chicks, yeah.
"I own this starship."
Mitchell and Kirk fight.
Pants tear and show Lockwood's butt.
Oh, for an out-take!
Spock cries for mommy.
Kirk wants a beach to walk on.
He stares at Rand. Yawn.
What are little girls
made of? Who cares? I'd rather
spin the naked Kirks.
"Throbbing and surging.
Are you like that, Captain Kirk?"
All together: DUH.
Kirk and the Horta.
I leave that to Ventura.
[Insert rock joke here]
Medieval peasants.
Klingons. Organians. War.
Did I mention tights?
Ston--T'Pring--T'Pau.
No, that's not a beebop chant.
Please pass the tri-ox.
Commodore Decker
Howls "Don't you think I know that?"
Merriment ensues.
A Personal Ad:
Lost Changeling Seeks Creator.
Must answer to Roy.
I Mudd. Him Chekov.
Jump, Chekov! See Chekov jump!
Monkey on a stick.
Journey to Babel.
"Save your father!" "No!" Slap! Weep.
Spock is so grounded.
Mugato attack.
Biker chick has great cure-all.
Pervy Bones watches.
Kirk. Training harness.
Need I say more? Don't make me
describe Shanna. Ew.
By Any Other Name.
Kelinda learns something new.
From Kirk. Lucky girl.
Nutsy cuckoo Garth.
Nutsier cuckoo Marta.
Two Kirks again. YAY!
Kirk says "spank" and "brat."
Episode 57.
Can't type--hands shaking.
Blowjob on the bridge.
You don't believe me? Spock's Brain.
Chekov and Sulu.
A little-known fact:
"Mira Romaine" translates to
"Look at the lettuce."
Hippies. Spock. Hippies.
Funky Spock jams with hippies.
Then they died. I wish.
His ex-girlfriends cry,
"We are women, hear us roar!
Free Janice Lester!"
Final episode.
Biggest EVE ever.
Going out in style!
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