Star Trek and its characters are the property of Paramount. This not-for-profit piece of fan fiction is not intended to infringe on that ownership. The author's copyright applies only to the creative content and her original characters.
This story is one in a series about the relationship between James Kirk and Suzanne Brandt. The Kirk-Brandt Chronology lists all the stories, both in order of occurrence and order of creation.
Notes
This story takes place in the Kirk/Brandt A/U that began with The Dress, The Guests, The Cake, The Car, The Whole Darn Thing. It features their son Alex, who appeared as a baby in The Seven-Pound, Two-Ounce Sequel and The Littlest Crewman. Alex is four years old in this story, which starts three nights after Wildcat's You Would Even Say She Glows and was written with her kind permission. As she said in the intro to that story, my K/B universe and her S/U universe sometimes intersect but not everything that happens in one also happens in the other. Confused? Well, have some more eggnog and it will all make perfect sense.
"Three parties in three nights," Kirk grumbled as he hung up his coat and opened the collar on his dress uniform. "I'd forgotten what HQ is like at the holidays."
"Uhura's party was fun," Brandt replied as she slipped out of her heavy wrap.
"True. It seems so long ago I'd practically forgotten. Make that one party and two official functions in three nights."
"Well, there's no party tomorrow night. Just you, me, Alex, and Dennis, having Christmas Eve. And by the way, I think Dennis is very disappointed that he won't be playing Santa Claus for Alex this year."
"Too bad. I'm the dad, I'm home, I get to be Santa Claus. Your brother will just have to get some kids of his own."
Brandt went to the sofa, kicked off her shoes, and looked at him pleadingly.
"All right," he said obligingly.
As he sat down at the other end of the sofa, he gave a cry of pain and jumped back up. Reaching into the cushions, he pulled out a female action figure whose sharp boots had just dug into his backside. He sat down again and regarded the toy with consternation.
"I don't think I've seen her before," he said.
"She's usually out of sight, waiting to be rescued. Last time I saw her, she was trapped under a shuttlecraft."
"She's showing an awful lot of cleavage."
Brandt took the doll and laughed as she began twisting the dark synthetic ponytail. "I know. Fig said she looks like the ship's call girl."
"Did she said that in front of Alex?"
Brandt shrugged. "Don't worry, I explained to him that the ship's call girl repeats all the captain's orders in a loud, clear voice to make sure everyone heard them properly."
"Thank you. I meant to tell you about it in case he asks if you have a call girl on the Enterprise."
"I'll just tell him that I give all my orders very clearly."
She replayed her pleading expression and he pulled her feet into his lap and began rubbing the soles.
"Why do you wear such uncomfortable shoes?"
"My shoes are fine. It was dancing with Admiral Nogura that made my feet hurt."
He tugged playfully on a baby toe and she sank further into the sofa, groaning happily. Turning her face toward a pile of gaily wrapped gifts that sat in the corner near the fireplace, she called, "Tree on!"
At her command, a Douglas fir sprang up in the middle of the presents. It was strewn with tinsel, lights, and ornaments, and it shimmered with as much genuine vitality as a holograph could manage.
"I still say a holographic Christmas tree isn't kosher," Kirk said.
"I agree but the building owner says we can't have a real one."
He pushed her feet away and went to the tree.
"In a minute. I just want to move this." He took a glass bell from an overladen branch and moved it to an empty spot.
"And you say I'm anal-retentive about the tree."
"Come off it, Brat. I know you've been secretly straightening the tinsel."
"One of the natural consequences of sharing an apartment with a child and a dog is crooked tinsel. But the really nice thing about this tree is that Alex and I like changing it to different kinds. Tree, Scotch pine!"
She snickered as a sharp-needled branch appeared and poked Jim's nose, but her enjoyment was cut short when gentle voices began singing, Come, they told me, pa rum pa pum pum.
"Tree, quiet!" she ordered and the music stopped. "God, I hate that song."
"I would think you'd like it. It's quasi-military."
"JT, I don't know what branch of the service you're in but I don't want to have anything to do with a military whose battle cry is 'Pa rum pa pum pum.'"
"That's not the battle cry. That's reveille. The battle cry is 'Pum piddly pum piddly piddly piddly pum.'"
"Oh, I'm sore afraid." She waved the ship's call girl menacingly. "I bet even she could beat them."
"They'd probably let her win just so they could be captured."
He returned to the sofa and snuggled down next to her until they were close enough to exchange a kiss.
"It's so great that the sickbay refit is taking longer than expected," Suzanne said, running her hand along his arm. "There won't be many more Christmases before Alex catches on to the Santa Claus scam."
Jim laughed. "I think I was about his age when Sam showed me scientific proof that there is no Santa Claus."
"He said that Mom and Dad ate the cookies we left out on Christmas Eve but they just put the carrots for the reindeer back in the chiller. He made me watch while he counted them on Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas morning. Same number both times."
"Yes, tragic, isn't it? I think I still have emotional scars."
"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off such a devastating trauma?" she whispered, pressing herself against the length of his body.
"Well, we do have the whole place to ourselves." He shifted into a more accommodating position.
"Why do you think Alex is sleeping over at my brother's tonight? Let me just get a few things together for tomorrow while you build a fire."
Leaving him to his duties, she went out to the kitchen and opened the locked stasis container. As she gazed at its contents, she felt a deep maternal pride that she'd managed to snag the gift Alex wanted most of all. She had nearly given up on finding the action figure that would complete his collection of Ultimate Starship Adventurers when she'd found this fellow hidden in the cargo hold of a smuggler's ship on her last assignment. She'd sneaked it into her kit before it could be entered into the evidence log, but in a fit of guilt, she had confessed to her CO after the debriefing.
"There are some things a parent just has to do," Admiral Skorheim had said, laughing.
Relieved that he had let her off the hook and even rewarded her with a cheeseball, she had wished him a hearty "Merry Christmas, sir!" and chortled over her ill-gotten gains all the way home.
Now she set the toy in a prominent place on the counter and said, "Remind me to wrap you before Alex gets here in the morning."
Then she took down a bright red tin from the top of the chiller. Finding it noticeably lighter than when she'd put it up there two days earlier, she pried off the top and found a single piece of moist, golden cake.
"Oh, no! What happened to the rum cake?"
"Is there something wrong with it?" Kirk called from the living room.
"There's only one piece left!"
"But I was going to take it to the Special Ops Christmas lunch." She carried it out to the living room where Jim sat enjoying the warmth of the dancing fire. Waving the rum cake under his nose, she explained, "I'm signed up for a dessert."
"Didn't Fig give you this cake?"
"You can't give it to someone else."
"Why not? Fig won't know. And I didn't have time to bake something of my own. Now what am I going to do?"
Muttering to herself, she returned to the kitchen. Jim followed and continued scolding as she investigated the contents of the cupboards.
"That's not how it works. It was a gift. You shouldn't just--" He halted abruptly as his eyes narrowed. "Where did you get that cheeseball?"
"Cheeseball? What cheeseball?"
"Wrong! I looked at the label on the bottom on the way to her house. It came from Haw--"
"Hawthorne's! Right, they were all out at Wrenn's so I had to go to Hawthorne's."
"Really." As she reached up to the top shelf, he put his hands on the countertop on either side of her. She turned to him with a quizzical expression and he continued sternly. "And when did you find time to do that? You'd been home less than twenty-four hours and it's hard to imagine you'd go all the way across town just to get a cheeseball."
"And isn't Hawthorne's just around the corner from Admiral Skorheim's house?"
"Your CO gave you that cheeseball and you passed it on to Uhura."
"You were the one who insisted on a cheeseball! I wanted to bring a bottle of wine."
"And where were you going to get that?"
"Um... Jack gave me a bottle of Picard '62."
Exasperated, he threw his hands in the air and walked away, saying, "Brat, if you must re-gift, don't do it with a vintage wine."
"If you only do it with crummy gifts, people catch on," she said as she followed him to the living room and retrieved her wrap from the closet.
"Much as I'd love to stay here and have hot, wild, after-party, got-the-place-all-to-ourselves sex with you, I have to go to Wrenn's and get a few things so I can stay up all night making cookies for the Special Ops lunch."
"No, you don't." He took a determined stance at the door. "You can stop at the bakery tomorrow and buy something."
"And feeding them Fig's rum cake is?"
"Brat," he said as he led her to the sofa and began unwrapping her. "You have a holographic Christmas tree, spray-on snow on the windows, and a son who thinks Santa gets it all done in one night because his reindeer can do warp 20. Trust me. You can serve store-bought cookies."
"Well...you're responsible if someone slips me the pellet with the poison."
Settling on the sofa and drawing her into his arms, he said, "I had no idea Special Ops' parties were so dangerous."
"It's murder. If they don't like your food..."
She made a cutting gesture across her throat that conveniently left her neck open to a well-placed kiss that sent a shiver all the way down to her toes.
The next night, Suzanne had just finished setting the table and was surveying its splendor when the door chime rang.
"SANTA!" Alex screamed as he leaped up from his umpteenth investigation of the wrapped gifts. He ran to the door, accompanied by Luke who enthusiastically added his voice to Alex's.
"Luke, quiet!" Suzanne ordered as she made her way to the door. "Alex, Santa doesn't ring the bell. It's probably--Luke, off!"
"Santa, Santa, Santa!" Alex danced impatiently at the doorway.
"Come!" Suzanne called as she settled the dog into a prone position.
Alex threw his arms around his uncle's legs and hugged him hard. Laughing, Dennis shrugged off his coat and picked Alex up.
"Uhf! You're getting too big for this! Or maybe I'm getting too old. Merry Christmas!" Turning to Suzanne, he planted a hearty kiss on her cheek.
"Mmmmm, this is new," she said, tugging gently on the tip of his short trimmed beard.
"Do you like it?" He surveyed himself in the tiny part of the wall mirror that wasn't covered with greenery and glitter-dipped pinecones. "I think it makes me look very clever."
"Like one of Santa's more worldly elves."
"Well, it does seem like the right time of year to have a beard."
They shared a knowing smile, each remembering the bushy white beard he'd been wearing on this night a year earlier.
"Where's Jim?" he asked, with a sly wink.
"He went out to get some whipping cream," she replied ingenuously.
"Uncle Dennis, you--Uncle Dennis, listen to me!" Alex cried as he put his hands on either side of Dennis' face.
"Alex, you're much too excited and I want you to calm down," Suzanne said gently.
"Suzanne, get real. It's Christmas Eve," Dennis chided. "I'm so excited I could wet my pants. Now what is it, Alex? And if you tell me I missed Santa again, I'm afraid I'll cry."
"No, he hasn't been here yet. But look at this!" Alex scrambled out of Dennis' arms and pulled him to the tree. "See this present? It's for me. And Luke scratched some of the paper off."
"Luke did that? What a bad dog."
"Yes, I scolded him." He dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "But not very hard. And I gave him a cookie, too."
"And he ate it? Your mother must have learned how to bake this year."
"Hey, that was supposed to be our secret!" Suzanne said, ruffling Alex's hair.
"Oops, I forgot!" Alex covered his mouth but his eyes shone with delight. "But the present's open a little bit, so don't you think I should open it all the way?"
"Hmmm, that's a toughie," Dennis said. "If I were Santa, I'm not sure how I'd feel about presents being opened early."
"We wouldn't have to tell him."
Dennis took a thoughtful beat and as he leaned his head close to Alex's, Suzanne was suddenly struck by how much Alex looked like Dennis at that age. Usually she saw Jim in her son, but at that moment, she found it quite easy to imagine her round-cheeked, tow-headed little boy growing into Dennis' light brown hair and sharply drawn profile.
"Alex, have you ever heard of--" Dennis paused, looked around furtively, and whispered, "--Schrödinger's Christmas present?"
"No, what's that?" Alex breathed, his face alight with curiosity.
"Erwin Schrödinger was a famous scientist and a very close friend of Santa's," Dennis explained. "He said that, as long as a present is unopened, there could be anything in it, so technically, it contains every gift you could possibly imagine. But as soon as you open it, there's only one."
"Not as silly as a boy who bribes his dog to scratch at the presents," Dennis sing-songed.
Alex gave a bubbling belly laugh and retorted, "Not as silly as you!"
As the discussion deteriorated into cries of "Silly you!" "No, silly you!", Suzanne returned to the kitchen, chuckling over Dennis' latest bit of scientific humbug. Schrödinger's Christmas present, indeed.
Checking the status display on the oven, her pleasure turned to irritation.
"That can't be right. The roast should be at least rare. What a time for the sensor to go on the fritz."
Just as she was about to start a diagnostic, her communicator trilled quietly. Pulling it out of the front pocket of her chef's apron, she said, "Brandt here."
"Reindeer to roof level three," Jim's voice came through very low.
"The fat man flies at midnight," she replied solemnly.
"I saw Dennis go in a minute ago. Are you all set?"
"Well, the roast is still raw but other than that, Operation Twelve-twenty-four is right on schedule."
"Maybe Santa will bring us some Rigellian take-out."
"Did you turn off the door sensor?"
"Jim, I know how to stage a break-in. I turned it off when Alex was hugging Dennis. You can walk right in, no chime, nothing."
"All right, I'm on my way. I'll buzz you from the lift. Kirk out."
Just as Suzanne shut her communicator, Alex came in, his blue eyes full of worry.
"Do you have to leave? I want you to stay home," he said in a small voice that tore at her heart.
"No, that was Daddy." She lifted him up onto the counter and brushed his hair into place with her fingertips. "He wanted to tell me that Wrenn's is closed so it's going to take him a little longer to get the cream."
"Don't go, okay? Even if they call you, okay?"
Forcing a reassuring smile, she put her forehead against his and said, "Oh, Alex. I love you to the end of the universe."
"And back again!" He finished the declaration they had shared since he'd been able to speak in sentences.
She lifted him down to the floor and said brightly, "Now go out and entertain Uncle Dennis, all right?"
"Awright!" He hopped across the floor and then turned back, frowning. "Daddy better hurry up or he'll miss Santa." Suddenly brightening, he announced, "I'll watch for Daddy at the window!"
"No, don't do that!" Realizing her voice was a little too urgent, she smiled sweetly and shifted into Mommy-knows-best mode. "I just put fresh snow on all the windows. Why don't you ask Uncle Dennis to play Ultimate Starship?"
"Uncle Dennis!" he called as he scurried out. "Wanna be a Starship person?"
Sagging with relief, she turned back to the accursed roast.
Riding up in the lift, Kirk adjusted his curly white beard, spitting away a few stray hairs. Already sweating under the heavy wig and bulky clothes, he was glad he wouldn't be in this outfit very long. Although it would be Dennis' idea of a joke to invite Santa to stay for dinner.
As the lift doors parted, he opened his communicator and signaled one short trill. Then he flipped it shut and headed for the apartment. As he drew closer, he heard Suzanne call in an over-loud voice, "Alex, I need you to put the appetizers in their slots on the relish tray!"
Kirk put his ear to the door--which didn't announce his arrival with a quick chime as was its usual behavior--and listened to the fast padding of little feet.
"Here are the carrots, here are the celery sticks--" Suzanne continued loudly.
"I know, I know!" Alex replied.
Pulling off a glove with his teeth, Kirk pressed his palm to the ID plate and adjusted the sack of presents he had slung over his shoulder as he watched the door slide open. Putting his glove back on, he entered with careful steps and saw Dennis standing near the tree. After a quick glance toward the kitchen, Dennis waved him in. Kirk crossed the room quickly and sat down on the hearth, hoping to look like he had just arrived via the chimney.
"Wait, wait!" Dennis whispered as he reached into the fireplace and retrieved a handful of ashes.
"Good idea!" Kirk murmured as Dennis brushed the ashes on the bright red suit. When Dennis stepped back, Jim gave him a thumbs-up.
"Tree, bells," Dennis whispered and as the sound of jingling bells rang out, he cried, "Oh my goodness! It's Santa!"
Jim gave a hearty "Ho ho ho!" as Alex came tearing out of the kitchen and flung himself onto Santa's lap. Suzanne followed close behind, her face shining with pleasure.
"Santa! Santa, you're here!" Alex cried.
"Ho ho ho! Yes, I am! And I'm glad to be here!" Lifting Alex into his arms, he stood. "Well, Dennis Brandt! We've been missing each other these past few years!"
He extended his hand and Dennis shook it saying, "I'm glad to see you, Santa."
"Um, can we talk about that later?"
"Ho ho ho! And what about you, Alex? Have you been a good boy?"
"Yes, I have! Haven't I, Mommy?"
"Oh yes, he's been a very good boy, Santa."
"And you, Suzanne?" Santa asked. "Have you been a good girl?"
"Ho ho ho! Santa doesn't like those evasive answers! Seems to me I had a report on you just yesterday--something about a cheeseball and a rum cake."
Suzanne gave him a gritted-teeth smile and Santa turned his attention back to Alex.
"Alex, where's your daddy? I usually see the Enterprise when I'm out delivering toys but not this year."
"He's at the store! Can you stay til he gets back? Please, please!"
"Well, let me give out a few gifts and if he comes in before I get done..."
"That will be our Christmas miracle," Dennis whispered to Suzanne who shushed him.
"Now, let's see, what do I have in my sack for Alex Kirk? Hmmmmm." Santa dug into the bag, reaching and frowning. "I thought I had it here. I didn't have time to double-check before I left the North Pole. I hope my head elf didn't forget..."
What a ham, Suzanne thought as she bit back a smile. But when she saw Alex's hands clasped under his chin in a tight knot of anticipation, she grinned full out and decided that Santa had hit just the right note.
As Santa took the package out of his sack, he brushed off a few soap shavings that looked quite a bit like snowflakes.
Nice touch, Suzanne thought admiringly. He wouldn't be half-bad at undercover work. In Toyland.
Santa handed the package to Alex, who tore the paper off and revealed a broad-shouldered action figure wearing a uniform that made him look like the runner-up in a ballroom dance competition.
"It's Big Willy Rickher! Look, Mommy! Now I have everyone in the Ultimate Starship!"
"Alex, what do you say to Santa?" Suzanne prompted.
"Thank you, Santa! It's just what I wanted!"
"You're very welcome. How about a big hug for old Santa?" Alex threw his arms around him and Santa hugged him back, smiling over his shoulder at Suzanne. "Uhf! Why, that's the best hug I've had all night. Now, let's see if I have something in here for your Uncle Dennis. Hmmmm."
"Yes, yes, yes! Uncle Dennis, what did you ask Santa for?"
"A girlfriend who looks like that action figure with the ponytail."
Santa stopped searching long enough to shake a finger at Dennis. "Ah ah ah!"
"Here we are! Yes, it says right here, 'For Dennis. Maybe next year on the girlfriend.'"
When Dennis opened his present and revealed a rich brown leather jacket, Alex's eager expression turned to one of sympathetic disappointment.
"Oh, clothes," he said and plopped down on the floor, where he began testing Big Willy's agility.
"A leather bomber's jacket!" Dennis said. "Thanks, Santa, and--" He cocked his head in his sister's direction.
"--thanks to whichever one of your elves went to the vintage clothing fair."
"And now for Suzanne," Santa said as he reached deep into the bag. "I have something very special for you--"
"Oh, good. I was afraid I was getting socks and underwear."
"Now, now, no fair guessing!" He laid down the now-empty bag and pressed a small box into her hand. "I realized that husband of yours has been negligent in the jewelry department."
With a puzzled expression, she removed the bright paper and opened the small case. Seeing its contents, she gave a soft, "Oh!" and blinked quickly. Then, drawing a deep breath, she lifted out the delicate chain and watched the lights from the tree play across the scarred surface of the titanium pendant.
"What is it?" Alex asked, looking up from Big Willy's calisthenics.
"It's--" Suzanne stopped and swallowed, her eyes meeting Santa's. "It's from the hull of the USS Hakluyt. Your daddy brought it back from one of his first training cruises."
"I don't understand. How can Santa give you something that belongs to Daddy?"
"Um ... You want to field that one, Santa?" Suzanne asked.
"You see, Alex," Santa said as he knelt down beside him, "your father gave that to someone who didn't really like it so she gave it back. That was so long ago that he forgot about it until he found it in a box in Grandma's attic and--" He glanced up at Suzanne and saw her hand closed around the pendant and her face a wreath of deepest happiness. "--he remembered how your mother looked when she first saw it. So he asked me to take care of it just in case he wasn't here for Christmas."
"But, Santa," Alex protested. "If it was someone else's--"
"Yeah, Santa," Dennis chimed in. "Isn't that re-gifting?"
"I don't care if it is," Suzanne said. "I love it. Thank you, Santa."
"You're welcome," Santa said as he took the necklace from her, stepped behind her, and clasped the two ends together. "I think you should know that there's one important exception to the 'no re-gifting' rule. It's allowed only when you gave the gift to the wrong person in the first place."
Seeing that Alex was absorbed in twisting Big Willy Rickher's arms into knots, Santa bent his head and pressed his lips to the back of Suzanne's neck.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he murmured. Then, turning to Alex, he said heartily, "Well, Alex, I have to be on my way! Tell your father I wish him a Merry Christmas!"
"Goodbye, Santa! You can come anytime, it doesn't have to be Christmas!"
"Well, thank you for that invitation! You are a good boy! Ho ho ho!"
He picked up his sack, turned to the fireplace, and stopped.
"Is something wrong, Santa?" Suzanne asked.
"Well, all that up-the-chimney and down-the-chimney is very tiring and I've got a lot of other children to visit. Alex, would you mind very much if I get just went out the door?"
"Gosh, that sounds like cheating," Dennis said.
"Santa wouldn't cheat!" Alex's voice squeaked with indignation. "It's okay, Santa," he added kindly as he took Santa's hand and led him to the door. "You can go out the door."
Ten minutes later, Jim returned to the apartment wearing his regular clothing and carrying a small grocery bag. As he approached the doorway, he heard the chime and gave an approving smile at Suzanne's thoroughness. Stepping inside, he called, "I'm home!"
Leaving Dennis among a circle of action figures, Alex ran to him, shouting, "Daddy, you missed him! Santa Claus was here!"
"I missed him? Oh, no! Darn my luck! What did he bring you?"
Alex scrambled to the spot on the floor where Big Willy Rickher had been joined by his fellow adventurers.
"Do you wanna play?" Alex asked. "You can be Wurf, the Klunkin Warrior."
"You better take it, Jim," Dennis said. "There are worse roles. I'm Weasley the navigator."
"Maybe in a few minutes. Let me go see how Mommy's doing."
"Okay." Alex carefully set Wurf aside and continued introducing the others to Dennis. "This is Cruncher, she's 'sposed to be a doctor but Mommy won't play unless she's the gunner. This is Qool from the Continuing. He's got magic powers. And this is the captain, Lucky John Piccolo."
"Yes, that's me. And this is Diana Toy, she's not very interesting..."
Chuckling, Jim went to the kitchen and found Suzanne quietly cursing the roast.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"Ten minutes ago it wasn't even rare. Now it's medium and I haven't even put the vegetables on."
"I meant what do you think of your gift?"
She turned to him and gently rubbed away a bit of spirit gum near his ear. "I love it. I love you for thinking of it. But having you here is the best gift of all. It's everything I could ever want--like Schrödinger's Christmas present."
"Get Alex to explain it to you. Right now, I'd rather kiss than talk. Or cook."
After a tender kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "I love you to the end of the universe."
"And back again." They shared another kiss, lingering a little longer over this one. "Mmmmm. I hope you're going to be this happy when I give you the cheeseball Bill Ramirez gave me when we were dating."
"A twenty-year-old cheeseball?"
"It's not old, it's vintage. And speaking of re-gifting, does this mean you're going to give me the tactical medal? They gave that to the wrong person, too."
"In your dreams, Brat. Put the vegetables on," he said, swatting her behind.
"I thought you were bringing Rigellian take-out."
"That's when I was Santa. Now I'm Wurf the Klunkin Warrior and I want my Christmas Eve dinner."
"Yes, Wurf, the bravest hero on the Ultimate Starship and you--you are the beautiful and dangerous Queen of Regiftia."
And with that, he swept her into his arms and kissed her until the roast was medium-well.
A couple of references that you might not have understood:
The necklace first appeared in Les Liaisons Ridicules when Cadet Kirk gave it to his then-girlfriend, Ruth.
The tactical medal appeared in Where's There's Smoke. Had Cadet Kirk not been awarded extra points for his controversial performance in the Kobayashi Maru, the tactical medal would have been awarded to Cadet Brandt.
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