Star Trek and its characters are the property of Paramount but this must OK cuz everybody else is doing it right?
Author's Note: I know I said I'd write more of Nacelles of Desire but over the summer I watched the show and guess what Kirk & Spock aren't gay. (Well, Spock maybe but I think he's just shy or amish or something. My parents took me to Pencilvania--they are so clueless--and I think Spock should pretend to be amish the next time they go back in time, they wear hats and have no expression on their face too.) Kirk really really likes girls & now that I'm dating & everything (OK just group dating & not on school nights), I know all about that. And my boyfriend's name is Kirk! How cool is that? He's so the capt of the Starship Kerensa! YKYRTMTSW your boyfriends name is Kirk. Tee hee.
SPACE COWBOY
(c) 2002 Kerensa Ravenwing
If you wanna fly, come and take a ride
Take a space ride with the cowboy, baby
Why-yi-yi-yipee-yi-yay-yipee-yi-yo-yipee-yiyay
Why-yi-yi-yipee-yi-yay-yipee-yi-yo-yipee-yiyo
Kirk & Spock were like "I'm so bored" so they decided to beam down to the mall & hang out. Spock was all glad & everything that Jim asked him down to the mall becuz he was such a total geek & Jim was way cool. Jim wisht he didn't have to hang out with Spock but his mother was best friends with Mrs Sarek & they were all concerned & shit that no one would hang out with Spock so Jim had to or else his mom would cut his curfew way back becuz she figured he couldn't get into any trouble hanging out with a loser like Spock & she was right. Jim almost couldn't have any fun with Spock hanging around making up statistics & thinking the dopiest stuff was fascinating & that's why he was like "I'm so bored" & beaming down to the mall.
"Hey Spock there's Nyota & Christine, lets go say hi" said Jim.
"No, they're girls."
"Well duh."
Jim was really glad he'd changed out of that stupid capt's uniform & into his baggiest pants with the crotch down at the knees & had his baseball cap on backwards. He was the coolest dude ever! Even in baggy pants Spock was still a loser but he was good enough for Christine.
"Hi, Nyota & Christine."
"Hi, Jim & Spock."
Both girls were wearing lowrider jeans & belly shirts with glitter on them so Nyota's 6-pack abs were showing. Christine had just gotten a tattoo of a flower growing out of her bellybutton. Spock thought it was facsinating so he let Jim talk to Nyota while he figured out what kind of flower Christine's bellybutton flower was & would maybe write a paper on it.
Then Nyota asked Jim to go into Tri-Tower Records & steal her the newest 'N Sync. Jim liked Nyota cuz she always had really tight ideas & would have done it even if she hadn't given him the biggest, deepest openmouthest kiss ever. Spock thought Wow! becuz he didn't know Jim was like all interracial.
So they told the girls to wait here & they went to the music store. Spock didn't want to neckpinch the guard but Jim was all "Dude, how can I steal the CD with the guard watching?" so he did it. Then Jim grabbed the N'Sync CD & a bunch of stuff out of the Rap section plus some old Genesis stuff for his mother cuz her birthday was coming up but then on their way out another guard who hadn't been neckpinched (cuz why would there be 2 guards? it was so unfair) grabbed them & took them to the guard office.
"I'm calling your mothers" he said but they told him their names were Chekov & Sulu & gave him Chekov & Sulu's mother's phone numbers & man, would those two losers get in trouble without even leaving the ship! Then he took away the CDs & kicked them out of the mall.
They met the girls out in the parking lot & said: "We're kicked out of the mall."
"Where's my N'Sync?" Nyota asked.
"Go ask the guard for it."
Spock wanted to go back to the ship becuz now he knew that Jim & the girls just wanted to get in more trouble but the googleplex was showing all 3,259 Star Wars movies so they went. They made Christine buy a ticket & then sneak the rest of them in. She didn't want to but then Jim whispered something in her ear & she giggled. Spock liked how her bellybutton flower jiggled when she giggled.
They sat in the very back row & Spock was all "Now's my big chance to not be a geek & impress everyone with all the Star Wars stuff I know!" but Jim wasn't interested at all, he was making out with Nyota. Then Spock thought maybe Christine would want to talk about how they did all the FX but she just wanted to make out, too (with Jim, cuz that's what he whispered in her ear: "Get us into the movies & I'll make out with you.") but Jim was making out with Nyota so Christine decided Spock was pretty cute & she'd ask Dr McCoy to stick a dull needle in Jim's butt in his next physical. McCoy would do it, too, becuz he was Christine's best friend (and probly gay, from the way he was so interested in knowing what Christine did with her boyfriends & never seemed to do anything himself but drink & watch Kirk & Spock & try to hang out with them).
Spock thought Wow, maybe I can slip her the tongue but she already slipped him her tongue & had her hands under his shirt so he figured he better move fast to catch up so he put his hand on her leg & she shoved it up under her skirt & Wow! She wasn't wearing any panties! Spock was like so surprised & thinking Even Nyota wears panties! (He knew becuz Jim was sending him a play-by-play of how he was doing & Jim had just gotten into Nyota's panties.) (Neckpinching & mental IM'ing were Spock's only 2 cool tricks. Jim couldn't do a neck pinch but he caught on to the mind thing right away. This is even better than a cell phone! Jim thought becuz they don't let you use cell phones in class but now his grades were way up cuz Spock could give him the answers on all the tests & his parents quit bugging him at night becuz they think he's studying when really he's just jacking off like always.)
*nyah* Spock sent back (cuz he didn't know the emoticon for sticking his tongue out) *christine doesnt wear panties shes a real slut*
*yeah i know & guess what else she dies her pussy hair pale blue*
*how do u know*
*i ate her a couple times after her fiancee died*
*wow shes got her hand in my pants*
*nyotas going down on me*
*no way*
*way*
*christine just said fuck me my beloved"
*no she didnt u made that up*
*howd u know*
*shut up asshole im going offline bye 4 now*
*but what do i do if--*
So Spock was like totally on his own & he didn't know that Christine would fuck anybody & then say they were engaged (that's why Jim only ate her out--he's smart about stuff like that but only since he got accidently fuck-engaged to Ruth, Dr Janis Lester, some lab tecknician whose name he didn't know, Dr Jan Wallace, & Dr Carol Markus who he even got pregnant & boy, did his mom go freakin' nuts over that!) & then Christine really did say, "Fuck me, my beloved" & Spock like totally lost it & came in his pants & yelled! (that's what Vulcans do when they cum, that's how Spock knew when his parents were having sex, his dad stuttered when he came & that's why Spock always talked so careful so no one would think he was thinking dirty thoughts which he always was.)
So the movie guard kicked them out & didn't even let Uhura look for her panties (but she wouldn't have found them anyway becuz Jim has them in his pocket to tease her with later. He'll probably hang them on his capt's chair & let Gary Mitchell sniff them or something gross like that.) (Mitchell is the friend Jim's mom is like the most totally against him hanging out with.)
So they all went back to the ship & spent the rest of the night trying to explain to Christine that you can't get pregnant from making a guy cum in his pants & they weren't engaged either.
[The end]
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