The Smuttress' Dream

(c) 2000 Jungle Kitty

Star Trek and its characters are the property of Paramount. This not-for-profit piece of fan fiction is not intended to infringe on that ownership. The author's copyright applies only to the creative content and her original characters.


I sent her a dream. She didn't know it came from me and she doesn't know it yet, but I believe she is starting to suspect. She thinks it's funny. Writers. They just don't understand.

Communication between the corporeal and the disembodied is so difficult. I have to wait until she's distracted or engaged by the controlling part of herself. Sometimes, out of desperation, I'll talk to her when she's asleep. But then the part of her mind that's busy sorting out her real life--as if that matters--that nasty, snippy, bureaucratic bunch of neurons grabs my message, shreds it into little pieces, and tosses them aside as irrelevant.

That's what happened last night. So I waited for REM sleep and then I took my message and put it back together as much as possible and forced it through. But there were pieces missing and events out of order so it was more garbled than usual and look what she made of it.

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy were at the bottom of the ocean, walking around and talking to each other. They didn't have any special equipment for breathing or to protect them from the pressure of millions of tons of water above them or the deathly cold all around them. Those velour shirts were even more potent than usual. Suddenly there was a child--a little boy--and McCoy took his hand. The boy was his long-lost son and as McCoy walked away with him, talking softly, smiling with quiet joy, Spock leaned into Kirk and said in a low voice, "Have you told him yet?"

"No, Spock, I--"

But before the secret could be revealed, she realized she was dreaming and what was worse, she realized she was dreaming last week's episode of "Futurama," in which the characters were able to exist normally under water through the application of special suppositories. And when she knew that what she was witnessing wasn't real life or even a TV show but a dream, the spell was broken. Then it hit her that Kirk and Company were walking around on the ocean floor with giant cartoon suppositories up their butts and she woke up laughing.

The dog growled at her and she got up and ate an ice cream bar.

[The End]



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