Humor & Parody

Most of my silly scribblings are listed here, but additional silliness can be found in Filks and Adventures in Fandom.

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Classic Trek

Duty, Pleasure, and Privilege
A very silly trilogy about a very strange Starfleet tradition. Note: "A Captain's Duty" contains m/m slash. I suppose "A Captain's Privilege does, too, depending on your definition of slash. Ratings vary, some NC-17. Posted 3/26/99

Scandal in the Skankiverse
1999 ASC--2nd Place, TOS Humor
This story concerns a meeting between the two most repulsive females ever encountered by Our Gallant Heroes in Gold and Blue. The Skankiverse is a newly discovered A/U. Rated PG. Posted 8/4/99.

Murder in the Skankiverse
1999 ASC--Best TOS Humor
A sequel to "Scandal in the Skankiverse." Somehow, the skankiverse has morphed into the trashiverse. This is also my answer to a question asked by Jen Chapman. <wink> Rated PG. Posted 8/4/99

Getting To Know You
"Getting To Know a Tribble" 2000 Golden Orgasm--Best Getting To Know You
Several Star Trek characters fill out a Getting To Know You questionnaire. Rated PG. Posted 2/26/00

Beach Party of the Mind
A humorous take on "Dagger of the Mind." Note: Slash is among the things parodied in this story. Rated PG-13. Posted 11-5-00.

The Peach Bubble Bath Infestation or A Bad Day in Fanfic
A rather extreme reaction to reading a story that featured peach bubble bath. Note: Slash is among the things parodied in this story. Rated PG. Posted 4/20/01

Words of Power
A response to an ASCEM first-line challenge. Rated PG. Posted 8/10/98

R & R
A half-act play inspired by the picture on the Barbie & Ken Star Trek dolls' box and written in a parking lot. And now...without further ado...the never-before-revealed story of the most infamous coding of them all...R/R! RAND AND RILEY! Rated PG. Posted 4/20/01

Way Out West
A discussion about Star Trek characters in a western inspired this bit of silliness. It really takes so little to make me happy. Rated G. Posted 4/20/01

Academy Daze
2000 ASC--Third Place, TOS Challenge
Star Trek a la Chuck Jones, the genius behind Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. Written in response to a challenge to write a Star Trek story emulating another author's style. Rated G. Posted 2-7-01

The Course of Human Events
2001 ASC--Second Place, TOS Humor
In the pilot episode of "Enterprise: The Next Generation," (set in 2231, thirty years before TOS and eighty years after "Broken Bow,") a new generation of humans takes the helm. Rated PG. Posted 12-9-01.

Dear Miss Lovelorn
2002 ASC--Best TOS Humor
Letters from TOS characters to an advice columnist. Note: The solution to the canonical inconsistency regarding Kirk's nephews (three in "What Are Little Girls Made Of" and only one in "Operation: Annihilate") was provided by Wildcat and is used here with her generous permission. Rated PG-13. Posted 2/6/02.

The True Outer Space Magical Adventures of Lieutenant Kitty
2002 ASC--3rd Place, Crossover
Lord of the Rings meets Star Trek when a very special lady rewrites both canons from her own perspective. This story was part of the Mary Sue Fuh-q Fest. Rated PG-13. Posted 4/1/02.

Space Cowboy
Kerensa Ravenwing (my scariest muse and author of Nacelles of Desire) has returned from summer vacation. With a fifteen-year-old's newfound maturity, she has expanded her vision to include a shopping mall. Rated "Kinda R." Posted 9/9/02.

Monday Morning at the Anti-Matter Cooler
2002 ASC--2nd Place, TOS Humor
Two crewmembers share some Monday-morning gossip. Rated PG. Posted 12/7/02.

Backwards and in High Heels
2004 ASC--Best TOS Humor
A question was asked on ASC: What if Kirk had been female? Here's my response. Rated PG. Posted 4/21/04.

Living Hell Is the Best Revenge
A sequel (of sorts) to Ventura's "Doomed Request." Posted with her permission. Kirk learns the hard way that you can never trust a fanfic writer. Warning: Peeps. Rated PG. Posted 6/12/05.

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Rude Person

About Rude Person

Note: These stories contain slash. Rated PG-13 to NC-17. Most recent postings: 1/10/99

Go to Norra Rude Person for an offshoot of the Rude Person stories, inspired by UK Jess.

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Poetry

The Donut Poem (Vulcan Poetry)
Something scribbled to pass the time. Rated R.

How the Troll Stole TrekSmut
1998 ASC--Second Place, Poem
1998 Golden Orgasm--Third Place, Humor
A Treksmut parody of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Note: Slash and as many other things as I could think of. Rated R. Posted 5/2/98

Kirk's Teen Anguish
A humorous poem based on (what I think was called) "Eric's Teen Anguish." Rated PG. Posted 2/26/00

5-7-5
2004 ASC--Best TOS Poem or Filk
There was a call for Shatner haiku. I found out I can't write Shatner haiku, but Trek haiku comes pretty easily. Rated R. Posted 4/21/04

Mantra
There was a line in "5-7-5" that I simply couldn't let go of. It brings me inner peace. Rated G. Posted 4/21/04

Who Transported My Cheese?
A corporate re-organization filtered through the mind of a Trekkie and rendered as a haiku. Rated R. Posted 4/21/04

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Kirk/Brandt

Silly stories from my ongoing series about the relationship between James Kirk and Suzanne Brandt, an old friend of Kirk's serving in Starfleet Special Ops. All the Kirk-Brandt stories can be found at Kirk/Brandt Stories.

Ladies Night
A Ladies-Only bull session aboard the Enterprise. Rated PG-13. Posted: 2/14/98

The New Curiosity Shoppe
Kirk and Brandt shop for toys. Rated NC-17 for subject matter and PG-13 because they only talk about it. Posted: 12/21/01

Born To Be Wild
1998 Tribble--Best TOS Story
1998 Golden Orgasm--Third Place, Kirk/female
1998 ASC--Third Place, Kirk/female
Exposure to radiation causes Captains Kirk and Brandt to regress in age. Rated PG-13. Posted 11/8/98

The New Dog
It's a dog's life. Literally. This story is set shortly after the end of the five-year mission when Kirk was promoted to the admiralty and began living with Captain Brandt. Rated PG. Posted 5/23/99

Les Liaisons Ridicules (Ridiculous Liaisons)
2000 ASC--Best TOS Humor
It's those wacky Academy kids again. In this week's episode, Brandt meets Kirk's new girlfriend. Rated PG-13. Posted 9/25/00.

The Great Easter Candy Caper
A practical joke at Starfleet Academy backfires. Rated PG. Posted: 5/2/98

Visions of Sugarplums
1998 Golden Orgasm--Second place, TOS Multiple
What did Captain Brandt get for Christmas? A cold, that's what. And the medication has an interesting side effect. Set during the brief time when Brandt commanded a scoutship. Gary Mitchell is still alive, and she and Kirk are not yet lovers. Rated NC-17. Posted: 1/11/99

Fade In/Fade Out
A Star Trek/other TV shows cross-over story. Rated G. Posted: 5/2/98

Where No Peep Has Gone Before
A response to a peeps challenge, in which Kirk and Brandt want to have some fun with food and get more than they bargained for. This takes place in a Kirk-Brandt alternate universe, outside of the overall storyline. Rated R. Posted: 5/23/99

Romancing the Peep
A sequel to Where No Peep Has Gone Before, in which The Problem Is Solved. This takes place in a Kirk-Brandt alternate universe, outside of the overall storyline. Note: This story contains m/m slash. Posted: 5/23/99

Gone With The Solar Wind
ASC 1999--Best Mixed Humor
Gone With The Wind with a Star Trek twist. Or twisted Star Trek, if you prefer. Note: This story contains mild slashiness. PG (so far). Posted: 8/4/99

Modular Mates
ASC 1999--3rd Place, TOS Humor
This is a TupperTrek story, in which at least one male character in the story is waaaaay too in touch with his feminine side. In this story, there's a crisis in the galactic love refrigerator, otherwise known as the TupperTrekiverse, where things aren't as fresh and tidy as we might wish. It also features an appearance by another fanfiction tradition, but you'll have to read the story. Note: Slash is among the things parodied in this story. Rated PG. Posted 10/26/99

The Family Mythology
2002 ASC--Third Place, Kirk Pairing
A few months prior to the end of the Enterprise's five-year mission, Kirk and Brandt attend the Tiberius family picnic. Rated PG-13. Posted: 10/1/02

Toy Story
This story takes place a few days after Schrödinger's Christmas Present. It was written in response to a first-line challenge (posted by me). Implied TNG. *snicker* Rated PG. Posted 1/10/2004

Who Wants To Know?
Inspired by Lyrastar's lovely "Kissing Captain Kirk" series and written with her permission. For those who may not be familiar with this remarkable series of drabbles, get thee to Kissing Captain Kirk. Rated PG. Posted 1/10/2004

Posing with Baked Goods
An A/U version of "Les Liaisons Ridicules" in which the story takes a very different road after the camping trip. Rated NC-17. Posted 11/30/03.

The Last Word
Sequel to "Who Wants To Know." Rated G. Posted 1/19/2004

As Ye Sow
A strange mutation sweeps through the Enterprise. Warning: Peeps. Rated PG.

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Kirk/Spock

Silly stories set in a universe in which Kirk and Spock have a sexual relationship. All my K/S stories are at Kirk/Spock Stories.

Unlike Any Other
Kirk sings "To All the Girls I've Loved Before." No, not really, but that's the theme of this story. Rated PG-13. Posted 8/10/98

Talk Dirty To Me
A late-night cable TV show receives a phone call. Rated R. Posted 11/8/98

A Long Explanation and a Short Story
A K/S story inspired by comments on the Sci Fi Channel. Rated PG-13. Posted 11/8/98

Mother Knows Best
This is a TupperTrek story. In the TupperTrekiverse, at least one male character in the story is waaaaay too in touch with his feminine side. In this story, Kirk is afraid he's losing Spock's love and he's desperate enough to try anything. Curse you, Tuppertrek Demon! Rated PG-13. Posted 10/26/99

Modular Mates
ASC 1999--3rd Place, TOS Humor
This is a TupperTrek story, in which at least one male character in the story is waaaaay too in touch with his feminine side. In this story, there's a crisis in the galactic love refrigerator, otherwise known as the TupperTrekiverse, where things aren't as fresh and tidy as we might wish. It also features an appearance by another fanfiction tradition, but you'll have to read the story. Rated PG. Posted 10/26/99

The Love Song of Surak
A response to the -shudder- bathroom challenge, among other things. Mike Hollihan, I'll get you for this. As for the rating, I think this should be rated S for SQUICK. Rated PG-13. Posted 2/26/00

TMI (Too Much Information)
I wanted something different. So does Jim. Another one that should be rated S for SQUICK. This story is part of the K/S Squi_q Fest. Rated NC-17. Posted 11/22/00

To Say Nothing Of The Tribble
A sequel to TMI (Too Much Information) in which Jungle Kitty blatantly rips off an urban legend. When last we saw our heroes, they were on their way to Spock's quarters to get a tribble, unknowing that they were walking into an explosive pile-up on the Genre Cliche Highway. Another one that should be rated S for SQUICK. This story is part of the K/S Squi_q Fest. Rated NC-17. Posted 11/22/00

Norra Rude Person
UK Jess wrote a story called "I'm Norra a Rude Person," a short K/S story in Yorkshire dialect. The plot in brief is as old as K/S itself: Their shuttlecraft crashes so they take refuge in a cave and discover the wonders of pon farr. Since then, we've seen this same plot in an amazing varieties of dialects and jargons. Here are mine.

The Big List of K/S Cliches
How much is too much? You decide. Rated PG-13. Updated 12/23/04

Doctor's Orders
A very strange and silly muse calling herself T'Kitty showed up and wrote this parody of "McCoy as facilitator of true love" stories. I disavow all knowledge of myself. Rated NC-17. Posted 03/03/02

Nacelles of Desire
2002 ASC--3rd Place, TOS Humor
An unauthorized sequel to T'Kitty's "Doctor's Orders," written by Kerensa Ravenwing, a fourteen-year-old who has read too many romance novels. Rated NC-17. Posted 03/03/02

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Treksmut University

About Treksmut University

Note: Some of these stories contain slash. Mostly rated PG-13. Most recent postings: 3/26/99

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Mostly About Writing

Having Written
Jungle Kitty receives a late-night visit from a fictional character who isn't happy with what's she written. Rated PG. Posted 12/17/97

Excerpt from the ASC Awards Ceremony
An appearance by Captains Kirk and Brandt at the ASC Awards. Rated PG. Posted 5/2/98.

Not Your Grandmother's Star Trek
What Star Trek would be like if my grandmother was in charge of it. Rated G.

Captain Mom
What Star Trek would be like if my mother was in charge of it. Rated G.

The Smuttress' Dream
Tired of working through a writer who's only beginning to chip away at a block the size of Texas, the muse speaks for herself. Rated PG. Posted 5/26/00

SleekWriter 2.0
A late-night TV commercial having to do with writing fanfic. Rated G. Posted 4/20/01

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